Choosing Virtue When Emotions Fail Us
A short reflection from Letters of Direction by Abbe de Tourville
"Do not worry about your feelings, but act as if you had those which you would like to have. This is not done by making a mental effort, nor seeking to feel that which you do not feel; but by simply doing without the feeling you have not got and behaving exactly as if you had it."
Abbe de Tourville - Letters of Direction
Choosing Virtue When Emotions Fail Us
Have you ever felt as though your spiritual life was dry, waiting for a spark that never seems to come?
Abbé de Tourville’s wisdom strikes at the heart of what it means to live in faith—not driven by fleeting emotions but by the steady choice to do what is right. He reminds us that holiness is not about feeling virtuous but about choosing virtue, even when our hearts feel dry or reluctant.
How often do we let our emotions dictate our actions? We wait to feel loving before extending forgiveness, to feel brave before stepping into uncertainty, or to feel inspired before we pray. Yet Christ calls us to a higher path—one of steadfast obedience to His will, regardless of how we feel in the moment (cf. Luke 9:23).
And he said to all, “If any man would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.
Luke 9:23 RSV
Consider St. Thérèse of Lisieux, who admitted she did not always feel love for the sisters in her convent. She wrote, "I prefer to remain hidden, unknown by all." Instead of waiting for affection to arise, she chose to act with love—offering small, hidden sacrifices, a smile, a kind word. Over time, her actions shaped her heart, and the love she practiced became genuine.
Abbé de Tourville’s advice frees us from the tyranny of our feelings. We are not slaves to our emotions; we are children of God, capable of acting in love, patience, and faith, even when we feel far from these virtues. Grace empowers us to live this way, for it is not by our own strength but by His that we grow in holiness.
Today, ask yourself: What virtue am I being called to practice, regardless of how I feel right now? Resolve to act as if you already have the virtue you desire. Want to be patient? Respond gently to the next frustration. Long to love more? Serve someone selflessly. By choosing to act, you align yourself with God’s transforming power, and in time, your feelings will follow.
In everything, we must ask: What act of faith is God inviting me to make in this situation? How can I respond in hope and grow in love? By asking these questions honestly, we find meaning in our trials. Every challenge can become a path of life, for Christ has risen from the dead and sows seeds of new life in every situation.
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