Sitting with Christ in the Dark: The Power of Agere Contra

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Yesterday in Lectio Divina, I found myself thinking about the women in the Gospels who waited for years before healing came. The woman bent over for eighteen years (Luke 13), and the woman who suffered from hemorrhaging for twelve (Matthew 9, Mark 5, Luke 8).

We often focus on the moment they were healed. But what about all the years that came before? The waiting. The silence. The prayers that seemed to go unanswered. Did they wonder if God saw them? Did they feel forgotten?

Those long years of suffering and hoping without relief speak to something many of us face in our own spiritual lives: spiritual dryness—a time when prayer feels empty, when God seems distant, and when we are invited to remain faithful even without signs or consolations.

There’s a moment in every spiritual life whether quiet and even agonizing where the soul sits in silence and nothing stirs. The heart feels dull. The mind wanders. You begin to question whether anything is happening at all.

This is what the saints and spiritual writers call spiritual dryness: a period in which the soul feels no delight, no light, no movement in prayer. God seems hidden. There is no felt sense of His presence. The only thing you hang to is faith. And yet, it is precisely here that the Holy Spirit is at work in secret, calling us deeper.

“For this reason, the person who is exercising himself, in order to act against the desolation and conquer the temptations, ought always to stay somewhat more than the full hour; so as to accustom himself not only to resist the adversary, but even to overthrow him.”
— St. Ignatius of Loyola, Spiritual Exercises 13

In these moments, St. Ignatius gives us a simple, clear instruction: Stay. Stay a little longer.

Agere Contra

St. Ignatius calls this agere contra—to act against the desolation. To do what is repugnant to our fallen nature. To remain with Christ even when our feelings have fled. It’s not heroic in appearance, but it is the quiet soil in which sanctity grows.

In his Spiritual Exercises, St. Ignatius offers practical tools for spiritual battle. One of the most essential is this: when you find yourself in spiritual desolation—dryness, discouragement, temptation—do not pray less. Do not give up. Rather, pray more. Stay longer than you planned. Not because it feels fruitful, but because this act of fidelity, contrary to your emotional state, is where the real battle takes place.

It’s not simply endurance; it’s resistance with love.

We are not merely avoiding sin—we are training the soul to respond with faith and love even when it costs. This is how the will is purified and reordered. It’s how Christ begins to truly reign in us—not just in moments of consolation, but in the desert, the agony, the silence.

Remaining with Christ

This is what it means to sit with Christ in Gethsemane:

“Could you not watch one hour with Me?” (Matthew 26:40)

We stay with Him not because we receive anything at that moment, but because He is worthy of our presence. We don’t have to understand the dryness. We don’t have to solve the desolation. We are simply called to remain. To love. To trust.

This is where saints are formed: not in sweet feelings, but in deliberate acts of love that cost something. The spiritual masters teach that even infused contemplation often begins in souls who are simply faithful. These are the ones who choose to stay, to pray, and to love, even when nothing seems to be happening.

Spiritual growth is not about grasping extraordinary gifts. It is about letting God form us. And formation is slow. Sometimes painful. But always fruitful in the long run.

Christ Calls Us Today.

You may not feel like praying today. Or going to Adoration. Or staying in the silence. Perhaps all you want is to scroll, sleep, or flee. That is precisely the moment Ignatius is speaking into. That is the hour to remain a little longer, not less.

This is not about performance. It’s about love. You remain because He is there.

“Not my will, but Yours be done.” (Luke 22:42)

Here are four simple ways to live out agere contra:

1. Fix your prayer time—and honor it.

Choose a daily time for prayer. Stay with it no matter your feelings. Don’t pray when you feel like it—pray because you belong to Him.

2. Remain longer in desolation.

When dryness hits, add five more minutes. Stay a little longer. Even if all you do is say, “Jesus, I am here.”

3. Offer small daily acts of contradiction to self.

Skip a small comfort. Wait patiently. Welcome an interruption. Let your will learn to surrender in the little things.

4. Ask daily: Lord, what part of the Gospel are You asking me to live today?

Not every trial has an answer. But every trial carries a call: to faith, to love, to hope. Ask Him what He desires of you in it.

The Fruit

The fruit of this quiet perseverance is not always felt, but it is real. It brings a quiet confidence. A steadier peace. A love rooted not in emotion, but in fidelity.
A soul that is learning to say, “I am Yours, no matter what I feel.”

Stay a little longer today. Jesus is already waiting.

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© 2025, Lawain McNeil, Mission Surrender, LLC.

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